“this shit isn’t fair”

My biz coach Jill Coleman (@jillfit if you are looking for the best online biz coach evah evah) tweeted this: “Anything you even wanted to know is a book, a podcast, a course or a person away.”

If I read this two years ago, I wouldn’t have thought twice about it. I was dead set on building back my fitness after a 5 month loss of identical twin boys. I was obsessed with losing my pregnancy weight. I felt ripped off, thinking “here it is again, another fucking thing I have to work my ass off for” pulling the whoa is me, this SHIT is not fair card.”

Two years ago…

I would NOT have spent thousands of dollars investing in my Hawaii based personal and virtual training business (don’t you have to make money before spending it).

I would NOT have been agreeable to letting go of my extreme exercise and restrictive eating behaviors (body control = happiness, right?)

I was NOT open to sharing my knowledge with others for fear they would steal my ideas and my clients (after all, I was hustling hard for my own shit; why spend time on other people?)

My MINDSET was all screwed up. Every decision I made was out of SCARCITY; heck a lot of it was probably a total lack of mindset too! I acted out of desperation. I led with fear. I lived by an all or nothing approach.

So what changed? Well, many things. And it wasn’t ONE BIG THING that happened. More like ONE BIG THING DID HAPPEN, but then all these little events followed and then I was met with one small window of opportunity that led to another opportunity that opened bigger windows.

In the past year…

I HAVE spent more money on my business than I had ever felt comfortable with.

I HAVE let go of relationships that no longer served me.

I HAVE held firm on my boundaries (even with family) for my own wellness.

I PUT MYSELF out there where I felt vulnerable, and weird and uncomfortable.

I JOINED invitations that I would at first glance reply “that’s not for me.”

I PUT MYSELF #onthehook and not on the little baby fish hook, but on the fucking big fish hook.

And HERE I AM. Being all the way OPEN to whatever the universe has in store for me without hesitation or contemplation, but with wide open arms knowing that in the end, everything does really turn out ok.

Because sis, it always turns out ok.

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