are your habits rooted in fear or fearlessness?

The year is 2016 and this is my 7th half Ironman race; a race where you’ll swim 1.2 miles, bike 56 miles and finish the race by running 13.1 miles within the allotted time limit.

I fell into #triathlon purely as a way to lose weight.

When I realized I could alter my scale weight by eating less and exercising more, I spent 2 hours daily at the gym.

When I hit a plateau from that, I started running and then participating in run races.

When I hit another plateau, I began to race triathlon.

When I hit another plateau after that, my racing distances increased. You see, I spent over 20 years (all of my 20s and 30s) falling victim to the more is more mentality.

I used exercise as my crutch; my distraction and I relied HEAVILY on how exercise made me feel about being in my body.

If I ate too much and felt disgusted with myself, I exercised more.

When the scale didn’t move or bumped up, I exercised more.

I never weighed myself unless I did so after a long, sweaty cardio session. And I asked the folks at various medical offices I went to, not to tell me my weight because knowing the number would send me into a tailspin.

When I first joined @thewonderwomenofficial, I read the requirement that daily weigh-ins were non-negotiable. And I felt as though all the blood 🩸 left my body in that moment.

“I’m sure I can persuade my Coach to give me a pass on this requirement” I thought to myself.

And I remember the moment vividly. I met my Coach @janellefitmarks on Zoom. And I hate to break rules or to be difficult or to ask for concessions from people in top positions; but, my scale fear roared way too loud and so I asked Janelle if I could get a daily weigh in pass.

And what followed was a gentle discussion about my fear with lots of support that provided a safe environment for me to say “ok, yes, I can do this. I know this is good for me and this is what I need to do to break through this barrier of mine.”

And ya know what, it’s 720 days of weighing in. Never missed a day. Weighed in without fail because I realized the more I weighed in, the less impact the number had on me.

Are your current habits rooted in fear or fearlessness? #honolulupersonaltrainer

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