Week 18 5.31.23
After over a month of waffling in the 144s, after a deload, more food and reduced cardio, my body is slowly returning back to normal hunger, energy, cravings. And low and behold, the scale dropped too. #stressisaweightlosskiller
Diet, lifts, cardio, steps, posing, meal prep, eating and all my other responsibilities were causing a high level of stress; combined with even more chronic stress of being under a DEADLINE combined with being autoimmune with an ostomy.
As frustrating as this is at times, I’m really learning a lot about myself: how I think and operate; how my body handles stress and more importantly, I’ve become fine tuned into my body’s feedback.
For instance, my racing thoughts while in bed; waking every few hours with all of the day’s to-dos; a speedy heart rate at various times of the day; my fasted blood sugar numbers when I wake are all SIGNALS my body sends to me that my cortisol is all over the place.
I’m tuning in when most of my life, my MO was to definitely tune out. Ignore and push through no matter the cost.
Yesterday, I had my strongest lift in a while and it even surprised me.
I can finally write out loud that I am happy to push my show date to Miami to give me another 23 weeks to reverse diet and diet again as we chip away at the last 8-10lbs. And bonus is I get to step on stage with @nokomis_chick_getting_fit, my teammate sistah who has been key in me keeping my shit together and my sounding board when stuff just feels hopeless.
Do yourself a favor and find yourself a Jenna!
And of course, great thanks to my Coach @janellefitmarks who sent me the sweetest check in message that brought me to tears.
Other than my goal of competing, I am happy with my shape. This is the best body I’ve built that has come from a place of love and not self-loathe. ❤️
Find what makes you the happiest and do that thing! #honolulupersonaltrainer