Well, I spent almost my lifetime lookin’ for you
Single digits and daily scale lows were never true
Playing a fool’s game, hopin’ to win
And tellin’ those sweet lies without losin’ again
Sing 🎤 it with me now…
I was lookin’ for love in all the wrong places
Lookin’ for love in too many chases
Googlin’ the lies
Lookin’ for traces of what I’d been dreaming of
Hoping to find my happy cover
I’ll bless the day I discover another way
Lookin’ for love…
There is a common theme to all of my body seasons. In most of them despite the weight fluctuations, I spent much time being unhappy. Disgusted with myself. Unsure. Imbalanced. And weak.
I told my boyfriend at the time, “when I reach 125lbs, I’ll be so happy!”
I remember that day vividly. I was very unhappy AND HUNGRY.
I spent most of my life hating my body.
I remember being in Kindergarten and realizing I was bigger than the other girls.
All of of my young adulthood…
Avoiding reflections of myself.
Having a panic attack when my partner would touch my stomach.
The feeling of my skin folding over my jeans.
The way my thighs rubbed together causing my shorts to ride up.
I’ve struggled with a weight thing my entire life. Which is why I know what it’s like to battle this thing that seems so impossible.
You’ll never be happy if you are searching for it. And happiness will never ever come if you are trying to create it by how you look.
I didn’t get here over night. It’s taken me 46 years. And I still have a lot of work to do. But I know if I can come out of it on the other side, you can too! ❤️
P.S. the last slide is me as a newborn baby to a teen mom who did the best she knew how. We grew up together!
