invisible illness

Can you guess what super power I possess?

Do I possess telepathy or the power of flight? Hmm, maybe its shape-shifting or the ability to time travel. What about mind control or heat vision?

No, nope, and nada.

I have the power of INVISIBLE ILLNESS! Have you heard about this unique power?

Invisible illness is the ability to look completely healthy on the outside as said hero lives life, even kicking some serious ass, all the while slowly dying on the inside.

Invisible disabilities are chronic illnesses and conditions that significantly impair normal activities of daily living. In the United States, 96% of people with chronic medical conditions show no outward signs of their illness, and 10% experience symptoms that are considered disabling.

I suffered over a decade with severe, refractory Ulcerative Colitis, all the while competing in endurance sports, starting my own fitness company and working full time as a Junior Media Planner. I definitely did not look sick on the outside and although I suffered tremendously, I always kept up the fight.

My mantra,

How will I adapt in this situation so that I can keep on living the life I want for myself?

It sure wasn’t easy and definitely not all roses. I smiled on the outside and cried at home. Many times, my spirit became defeated and each year, my once bright light dimmed.

I soon became tired of people treating me, mainly medically, as if I wasn’t as sick on the inside because of how I looked on the outside. And my suck it up attitude didn’t win any sympathy awards either.

But now, after surgery, I find new emotions (anger and resentment) arise. Had my outer shell reflect my inside diseased body, perhaps my medical team would have treated me differently?

I let those very thoughts in and am sure to quickly let them go…

This is my destiny, it is to be my fate…

Could have; would have; should have.

It’s already spilled milk right?

Now, I am reborn. And with rebirth, I am a warrior, a fighter and an ADVOCATE for my fellow invisible illness heroes, especially those that cannot yet fight for themselves. For every day, we deal with ignorance, miseducation and bias simply because these fuckers can’t see what we know and feel.

In a future post, I will write about this week’s said fucker who bullied me into showing my handicap disability parking card informing me that I was illegally using my hanging placard.

“It’s not your pass” he proclaimed loud and proud, puffing up his chest while his belly hung over his belt. Wind fiercely blowing sparse strands of greasy hair poorly disguising a balding man in denial.

As he continues to put me in my place, I am enraged and saddened; but, all I can do is stare; stare at his wrinkly bitchy face, at the people eavesdropping in around me, at his shitty four door sedan, proudly displaying the title “SHERIFF.”

#asshole #bully #invisibleillness