week 31 – update on my bikini competition and my decision on the WBFF

Weight 136.4lbs – on track for 1lb loss this week but 0.40lb over last week’s goal. Great news is today’s weight, I hit this Monday’s goal, so hoping my 135lb will hold for this Monday’s check-in.

Waist: 24”
Hips: 25”
Thigh: 18”

It BLOWS my mind 🤯 that I’m here posting publicly not because I have an #ostomy; but, posting about my actual SCALE WEIGHT.

It’s a number I spent too many decades denying. A number I never spoke out loud. A number I always manipulated before ever stepping on that dam piece of metal. And a number I was always downright ashamed of.

Through my 2.5 years with @thewonderwomenofficial under Coach @janellefitmarks, I’ve achieved the BIGGEST transformation of them all; the ☝🏾 that happens on the INSIDE.

I no longer attach my worth to that number.

I no longer become paralyzed when that number isn’t what I’d hoped for.

Taking daily metrics for the last 805 days (yep never missed once) has taught me that, that number doesn’t really matter at all. It’s a blip on my data screen. Fickle and sensitive. Fleeting and steady. Quick to change like our Kona winds.

Many have asked how this WBFF situation affects my plans to compete on November 11 in Miami. And I’m steadfast in saying I will NOT be competing in Miami on November 11th. Luckily and serendipitously, there is a November 18th show, The Shawn Ray Classic right here in my neighborhood. It was the same show my teammate @silverandstrong competed in and even winning some hardware 🏆 too. So I’ll be there! 💪🏾

As a Coach, I always remind my athletes that different is not better or less than; it’s just different. I’ve been prepping ALL year. And while prep hasn’t been perfect, I know I’ve been all in, all of the time. And that’s the beauty for me of this goal and experience. It may be hard for some of you to imagine that someone can do a show without becoming addicted to a look and the chase. What you fail to realize is, I’ve been through ALL OF THAT already. I spent all of my 20s and 30s chasing happy outside of myself in the arms of external validation. I really learned the hard way. And it was WORK. A lot of years of work. But the best work I’ve yet to do! ❤️

Thanks for reading!

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