I was chasing weight loss since the 3rd grade when I created my almost forever story…. I would always be the bigger girl. I held on HARD to that narrative and beat my body up day in and day out for not being what society said I should be: skinny.
At first I chose starvation. Then I chose low calorie packaged food. I found exercise as a college freshman and then I found my first love ❤️.
I believed I could only be loved if I was thin and so it went – my constant need to chase the scale by restricting and exercising longer, harder, and more often.
“You work so hard, you would think you would be lean” one gym goer once told me. He was an older gentleman that just said it like it was. His statement crushed me.
For many years, I lived in a body that didn’t accurately portray my effort. Call it vanity. Call it toxic. For me, enjoying how I look and being comfortable in my clothes is important. To each her own…
Despite not being sedentary AT ALL, I did have a major issue with food. Primarily restricting food and increasing exercise when I felt “fat” or the scale read heavy OR over indulging when I felt I deserved to (an epic workout weekend; a stressful emergency…).
There was no middle ground for me. I was either restricting or overeating. And despite ALL OF MY exercise, I could never catch up.
It’s true you know, what they say about being unable to outwork a mediocre diet.
For a long while, I wasn’t ready to take a hard look at my food behaviors. Food always comforted me. Food made me happy. Many of my social events were based around food. And yet, I never identified as an emotional eater.
And it’s only because I’ve been THROUGH IT to be able to support my fellow ladies who are still in it.
I get it. I understand the struggle. I feel your frustration. I’ve been in your shoes 👠.
There’s a much better way. A way just for you. ❤️
What’s one thing you know now that you’d wish you knew then? Tag me in your throwback Thursday!